


Let me in

by Etstrubal



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Banter, M/M, Multi, Shenanigans, Vampires, cuteness, kind of, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-22 10:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8283163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etstrubal/pseuds/Etstrubal
Summary: "Two gay humans and and an ultra gay vampire move to the suburbs. Sounds like the beginning of a joke, doesn't it?" Iwaizumi says as he, Oikawa and Kyoutani slowly walk on the stone road leading to their new house in the middle of suburbia.~Oikawa the vampire and his two human boyfriends start their lives in the suburbs!





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is so self indulgent and I enjoyed every second of writing it

"Two gay humans and and an ultra gay vampire move to the suburbs. Sounds like the beginning of a joke, doesn't it?" Iwaizumi says as he, Oikawa and Kyoutani slowly walk on the stone road leading to their new house in the middle of suburbia.

The moon, bright and clear, hangs above their heads. When Tooru checks the time, he notes it's nearly midnight. The traffic was horrible, so even though he left not long after the sun disappeared, it still took him over three hours to get there. The rest of their things were already inside. His two human boyfriends supervised the transporters all day, directing the boxers to different rooms and texting him updates.

Tooru, of course, expressed his utmost regret about not being able to help. He was, after all, "allergic to sunlight". It was very tragic, and he made sure to repeatedly tell them how much he wished he was there to help carry the load. Judging by their passive aggressive replies, he didn't think they were buying it, and at some point even he stopped pretending and begun to openly gloat. Later, he'd find out that Kentarou and Hajime hid all his cosmetics under a pile of heavy boxes full of books as revenge.

"How come I'm ultra gay?" Oikawa is delighted by the title, but pouts anyway.

"You've been gay for centuries. And you also suck in more than one way." Kyoutani explains. "Wait. Make it three or four ways." He nods approvingly to himself. Iwaizumi hums in agreement.

"Sounds like solid logic." Tooru shrugs. "Hey. What do you think the neighbors will care about more? The humans sucking the vampire? Or the vampire sucking on his blood sacks?" Oikawa laughs freely, convinced he just told the greatest joke of the year. Never mind that suburban areas are amongst the greatest supporters of vampire rights, or that gay marriage is not only legal for over ten years now but also widely accepted.

"Blood sacks, huh?" Kyoutani mumbles absentmindedly as he and Hajime cross the doorstep. Sometimes Oikawa gets the impression that his blond boyfriend isn't exactly listening to him, but that's okay. Better than Hajime who openly tells him to shut up because he's talking too much.

Oikawa clears his throat behind them, still outside. "Loves? You need to invite me in. Did you forget? Silly humans." He teases.

His two boyfriends turn to him. "What? But you were already inside when the Realtor showed us around." Hajime points out.

"Well, duh." He puts one hand on his waist and hangs the other in the air to his side in his classic let-me-explain pose. "But now it has different owners! Legally, only you two own it. So I need another invitation." Vampires still aren't able to legally own property, despite many protests and attempts to cancel the law forbidding them to. The idea behind it is that every human would be able to defend himself by taking back the vampire's invitation in a case of emergency. It was a ridiculous idea, formed by prejudice and hate, and made bureaucracy even more hellish than it normally was.

"Oh, is that so?" An evil grin creeps onto Iwaizumi's lips. "I don't know... Letting such a dangerous creature into our home? He might drink all of our blood." He says slowly, supposedly innocently.

"Come on, Iwa, you _know_ it doesn't work like that." Tooru states the obvious. He needs about a spoon of blood every day in order to maintain his optimal state. Nothing that'll put a human in any sort of danger, even if they donated daily. After more than two years of relationship, his two boyfriends are well aware of this fact.

"Do we? We are just blood sacks after all. You said so yourself. Do blood sacks know anything at all?" Kentarou starts closing the door after them, his grin mirroring his human boyfriend's.

"Come on, this isn't funny!"

"Neither is calling us blood sacks, shittykawa." Iwaizumi says sternly.

"You guys know I was just joking!"

"Do we, Kyou?" The shortest of the three cocked an eyebrow at Kentarou.

"I don't believe we do." He answers smoothly, wrapping an arm around Hajime's waist.

"What! Guys! You can't leave me out here! What the hell!" A shade of panic taints his usually smooth, airy voice.

His two boyfriends share a look, shrug, and slam the door in his face.

Really, you'd think having human boyfriends would be the best thing ever, right? You'd have blood choices. One of them is sick? No problem! Just suck on the other. But in reality, the two gang up to torment him whenever and however they just can. Tooru could not count how many times they ordered extra garlic on their pizza just to spite him. They knew he wouldn't be able to kiss them or drink their blood for at least a day but they did it anyway. And now they're not even letting him into the house they bought together. Stupid human bureaucracy.

"You're the worst boyfriends ever!" He shouts after them. A dog starts barking from some neighboring house, most likely because he was making so much noise close to midnight. Fuck.

_They wouldn't really leave me out here, would they? They'll come to invite me inside in few minutes... For sure. I just have to wait until they return and put an end to this joke._ He decides as he sits down on the stairs leading to their raised porch. _Just... Wait..._

More than five hundred years of existence made Tooru a patient man. But there's a limit to how much he can take. He reaches that limit when his ears pick up the faint groaning sounds from inside the house. "They're doing it without me," he wails in disbelief, burying his face in his hands miserably. His shoulders shake, full of self pity. If vampires were capable of shedding tears, he would. In their absence, he dry heaves for a little while.

_It was just one little joke, it didn't mean anything! They're being unnecessarily cruel. Assholes._ He thinks bitterly. What a fantastic start to their joined lives. He couldn't believe they really left him out there... All alone... In the cold... Never mind he can't technically feel the cold. The voices grow a little louder before they die down.

The next time he looks up at the skies, they're considerably brighter. "Fuck," he mumbles, scrambling to his feet and practically throwing himself at the door, knocking frantically.

Sunlight won't burn him to crisps in under a minute, like some ridiculous stories tell. But it will give him pretty nasty burns. True, he will heal up after a good sleep and maybe some special ointment, but it'll still hurt like a bitch and the entire experience is traumatic and he'd rather avoid it.

"Iwa-chaaan! Kyou-chaaan! This joke has gone long enough!" He borderline screams while slamming his fists on the door. "It's almost dawn for Christ sake! Look! You made me say the name of Christ! Open the door already! Please! I'm sorry I called you blood sacks! I didn't mean it! Come on!" He keeps yelling until the door swings open almost violently, revealing his two mussed haired and puffy eyed boyfriends.

~

Iwaizumi stirs awake to loud banging and his vampire boyfriend's voice screaming his name. _what in the hell... why isn't he in bed...?_ his sleep stricken mind wonders dazedly.

"Make it stop... M'trying to sleep..." Kyoutani mumbles.

He's adorable when he's sleepy, his expression soft and unguarded. Hajime can't stop himself from leaning in, closing the few inches between their faces, and pressing his lips to his boyfriend's. Kentarou grumbles, but muscle memory is a powerful force, and soft lips move against each other.

They're interrupted by one of Tooru's screams, something about letting him in. What is he, a dog? _Just open the door yourself, idiot._ Hajime thinks. _Wait. Shit. Fuck._ "Kyou? You invited Tooru in earlier, right?" He asks urgently.

"What... No... You were supposed to." He mumbles, eyes opening to squint at his boyfriend. "Shit. You didn't?"

Iwaizumi's expression, even in the near complete dark, makes it clear he hadn't.

"Fuck." They say at the same time, coordinately throwing off the covers and racing down the stairs to the front door. As always, Hajime is slightly faster, and swings the door open just as Kentarou gets there.

Oikawa is standing outside, sulking and huffing. Hajime thinks he looks like a miserable, rain soaked kitten. Even though he isn't wet at all. How does he manage to look like a kitten when he's more than 500 years old? It'll always be a mystery to him.

"Why didn't you let me in earlier! You jerks! I could have burned!" He blames them, looking more betrayed than stabbed Caesar when his Senate turned on him.

Kyoutani looks stunned and guilty, so Iwaizumi decides to relieve him from this task and do the talking himself. "You're invited into this house." He quickly says, getting that part out of the way first. "We're so sorry, Tooru, we each thought the other already invited you and.. That you were just being a crybaby and refusing to come upstairs or something." They even fooled around for a while to try and tempt him to come up, but it didn't work. Now he knows why.

Oikawa doesn't move from his place. "You two didn't even properly check up on me." He sticks out his lower lip and his brows crease in the cutest sad expression Iwaizumi has ever seen. Maybe it's because he just woke up, or the faint light is tricking his vision, but at that moment he just wants to wrap his vampire boyfriend in his arms and kiss his pout away.

"We're sorry, Babe. We'll make it up to you later, alright? Now please get in already, before the sun comes up." The shortest pleads.

Oikawa sulks but obliges. He looks torn between the urge to jump on his boyfriends and demand they comfort him to the plan he undoubtedly constructed to punish them by being cold. It may work on Kentarou, who easily falls victim to guilt tripping, but Hajime isn't that easy. Tooru will come to them when he's ready, he knows.

"By the way, why didn't you just... call us?" Kyoutani suddenly asks, puzzled. It was the most obvious solution, after all.

"I may have forgotten that phones exist again..." Oikawa admits, shuffling his feet awkwardly.

Kentarou snorts loudly and starts laughing, and even Iwaizumi has to suppress his smile.

"Shut up, you two!" The tall vampire crosses his arms across his chest defensively. "They weren't around for over 90% of the time I exist! So what if I forgot!" He sulks, sending both of them his best shame-on-you look. It looks closer to a disappointed squirrel to Hajime.

"M'sorry." Kyoutani, already guilt tripped, stops laughing and looks away, ashamed.. _He wouldn't look more like a sad puppy even if he drops to his hands and knees and starts whining,_ Iwaizumi thinks. _And why do my boyfriend look like all these animals all of a sudden anyway?_

The effect is immediate. Either 500 years of existence didn't help their vampire boyfriend become immune to puppy eyes, or Kentarou's were particularly strong. Oikawa sighs, dropping his arms to his sides and walking over to the blond. "It's alright, you just forgot..." He wraps an arm around his waist and pulls him closer. "I'll forgive you if you promise not to eat garlic for a whole month." He suggests.

Kyoutani looks up at him with wide eyes, nodding quickly.

"Sure," Hajime agrees too.

"What? Who said that's your punishment? I'm going easy on Kyou because he's so cute." Oikawa pinches his cheek and Kentarou grumbles, his blush apparent. "You, dear Iwa-chan, will have it much, much worse." He grins in what is probably supposed to be menace, but Hajime knows that his vampire boyfriend is probably thinking about something sexual, and he has _absolutely no problem what so ever_ with _that_ sort of punishment.

"Mhmm. Should we head to the bedroom, then?" Iwaizumi offers.

"Fuck yeah. Where's the box with all our toys?" Oikawa is already moving towards the staircase, dragging Kyoutani with him.

"In the bedroom. We told you we'd make sure they're easy to find between all the other stuff." Kentarou answers, a hint of pride in his tone. Iwaizumi catches up and places his own arm around Tooru's waist. The staircase is wide, but neither of them is particularly lean and it's a tight fit.

"Good boys." Tooru praises as they climb up the stairs, back to his old cheerful self. Iwaizumi sighs and wonders what "punishment" he already came up with to make him so cheerful.

**Author's Note:**

> Aah thank you for reading! I also have a [tumblr](http://etstruball.tumblr.com/) (if you didn't come from there lol)


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